Humor
From your favorite magazine.
On page 37, we stated that Yo-Yo Ma’s favorite color is red. Yo-Yo Ma’s favorite color is in fact smaragdine, Pantone’s 2013 Color of the Year. We regret our error.
On page 83, we stated that the exact geographic location of the Mariana Trench is 11.3493° N, 142.1995° E. The…
I want to fall apart glamorously.
I’m about thissssssss close to completely falling apart. And amazingly enough, it has nothing to do with COVID. I actually find that COVID has a lot of benefits as far as I’m concerned.
- No one tries to hug me. Normally, when someone goes in for a hug, I stiffen into…
Medium Tips and Tricks
It’s called “unlisting”, and heck yeah, I’m doing it.
I know, I know. “Kill your darlings,” yadda, yadda, yadda. Sometimes things have to be unceremoniously dumped for the sake of the whole, like that boyfriend none of your friends liked.
Do you keep your stinker stories that got five claps and zero comments, or do you delete them?
If…
Humor
Pass the salt shaker.
I’m angry. I’m angry all the time.
Why does nobody work as hard as I work? Why do other people get to watch TV and read books and go places and take vacations and sleep? I can’t do any of those things! I have to WORK! …
The diffusion of responsibility is killing our bodies, our planet, and our souls.
If you’re on the young side of 30, you might not know the name Kitty Genovese. But you should.
In 1964, Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, New York, at 2:30 a.m. She screamed for help. It was March 13th, spring, windows might have…
Humor
I’ve been misled, deceived, bamboozled, hoodwinked!
Dear Editors (or if you’ve all been fired, remaining support staff. Or, barring that, whoever runs the coffee shop in the lobby):
I recently subscribed to your website as a direct result of something called the Medium Writers (Writer’s? Writers’?) Challenge.
The title of your esteemed contest should perhaps have…
Humor
ooooo-EEEEE-ooooo!
… and when she woke up, the entire site was GONE! And she hadn’t saved any of her stories in Word and she lost ALL of them!!! Five years’ worth of work. (one writer screams, another passes out)
… the poor writer laid down despondently by the side of the…
Opinion
It’s both horrifying and freeing.
I was jonesing for Subway. I needed a 6-inch steak and cheese on flatbread, and I needed it now.
I trundled over to the BP station, parked at a pump, spent a month’s salary on a tank of gas, masked up, and entered the store.
I turned right. The Subway…
Humor
No, I don’t know how I did it.
To paraphrase Annie Hall, “I used to be a Twitter addict. Now I’m a Medium addict.”
And as a result of this relentless barrage of words that I spew onto the page, I’ve somehow managed to convert one lost soul to the Church of Medium.
No, I don’t know how…
