You Will Never Lose Weight On A Diet

Here’s what to do instead.

I’ll have what she’s having. (Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash)

My boss believes in the “magic bullet” theory of weight loss. If I had all the money he’s spent on raspberry ketones and Atkins Shakes, I could pay off my house. Every so often I open the cupboard above his desk to see what new miracle potion or pill he’s bought to erase the spare tire around his middle.

I sympathize. As a teenager, I took Dexatrim (remember Dexatrim? It’s fun when companies name things after illegal street drugs). It didn’t help me lose weight, it just gave me heart palpitations.

But taking a pill was easier than confronting the depression that I was medicating with food.

Things didn’t get any easier in college. I ran in place in my dorm room for hours at a time because I was too embarrassed to go to aerobics classes with all of the sorority girls in their form-fitting Lycra. I’m still a little self-conscious when I’m out power-walking around the neighborhood. Being bullied as a kid is the gift that keeps on giving.

The Problem With Pills and Diets

The problem with pills and diets is that they divide time into “before” and “after”. You are fat “before” you take the pill or start the diet, and you will be thin “after” you stop taking the pill or finish the diet.