Humor

You Can’t Share Terrible News Without Giving Me All The Details

That’s the law.

Photo by Kristin Jarvis on Unsplash

I’m sorry, but you can’t just text something like “my husband has a spinal compression and if he moves he might be paralyzed for life so I can’t leave the house” without providing more freaking details.

So many questions immediately spring to mind —

• How did he get the spinal compression?
• Was it an accident? Did he fall off a ladder, was he in a car accident, did he trip over the dog?
• Is it from a degenerative condition, and if so, which one?
• How old is he? Is he my age?
• Will surgery fix it? When is the surgery?
• Can he move a little? Like, how is he going to the bathroom?

Of course, the gist of all of these questions is Can this happen to me?

There are no HIPAA laws between friends.

Ever since HIPAA (the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 — and no, it’s not HIPPA or HIPPO or any of the other variations I’ve seen) you can’t get any of the juicy details. People act like they have a right to privacy or something.

Look, I have no boundaries, and…