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Humor
Why Yes, I Would Love A Cookie
It wouldn’t be the holidays without other people’s food.
When I was a kid, there was always that neighbor who brought over baked goods that went straight into the trash.
It’s not that they tasted bad. It’s just that my mom had very particular hygienic standards when it came to food.
Usually those standards involved cats. If the neighbor had cats, there was no way we were eating anything they made.
After becoming an adult and living with various animals, both feline and non, my standards have dropped dramatically.
I remember when a friend came over to my house once. One of my cats was strolling along the kitchen counter, because cat, and my friend’s eyes were as wide as I have ever seen human eyes get.
I felt compelled to say, “I don’t use that counter for cooking,” which was a total lie, but it seemed to calm her down.
My friend clearly inhabited a non-pet household, a pristine dreamworld where there wasn’t dog hair in the refrigerator and cat hair everyplace else.
Is there fur in my oatmeal? Possibly.
My complete and total lack of food-related standards comes from not being much of a cook. I mostly survive on cereal…
