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Humor
Why I’m Leaving Medium To Become A Hedgehog Farmer in Uruguay
The platform has no room for hedgehog lovers such as myself.
Growing up, I was obsessed with hedgehogs. Those little button eyes, those adorable little hands. The weird spines all over their bodies. The way they drink tiny margaritas in a sombrero on Instagram and then go to tiny AA meetings and regret all of their life decisions.
Adorable.
When teachers asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was invariably, “A hedgehog farmer.”
The teachers would shake their heads sadly and say, “You’re weird, go sit down. And stop eating paste. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
My parents gave me hamster after hamster trying to appease my hedgehog mania, but it wasn’t the same. I tried to make them (the hamsters, not my parents) more hedgehog-like with my “Junior Mad Scientist” kit (ages 15 and up), but my mom got mad that I kept blowing out fuses and eventually the pet store manager said, “Kid, I don’t know what you’re doing with all those hamsters, but we’re notifying the ASPCA.”
I’m not exaggerating when I say my life has been transformed by hedgehogs. At first, I thought I would just write about hedgehogs, but it wasn’t…
