Member-only story
Burning Questions
Why Don’t People Have Curtains?
Yes, I know there are a lot of big important things going on in the world, like war, pestilence, famine. Will Smith.
People much more talented and smarter than me (I?) are writing about those things and probably earning a bazillion dollars which they then use to start a foundation to stop infant slave labor in Djibouti just so I can feel like a horrible person who thinks that starting a foundation sounds like a lot of work when I’d rather be binge-watching Euphoria.
But what I want to know is, why the hell can’t people use curtains?
Hold on, I have to go make a peanut butter sandwich out of peanut butter that may have been recalled because it contains shards of glass or something.
Everything is always being recalled. People used to drink liquid cocaine, but now we’re suppose to worry about a Lean Cuisine that may contain nuts.
Like I’m actually going to take something back to the store that’s been recalled. Are you kidding me? I’ll just look at it real close before I eat it. That takes much less effort.
Where was I? Oh yeah, curtains.
Personally, I use curtains to hide all the things going on in my house that I don’t…
