Humor
Why Can’t Men Stop Staring At Our Boobs?
What is with the guys who can’t look you in the face because their eyes are glued to your breasts?
Or worse — what is with guys who do the darting thing, where their eyes bounce up and down like ping pong balls while they’re talking to you because they’re trying to sneak a look at your boobs (which are nothing but clothing-clad mounds of fat, by the way. Imagine a stick of butter wearing a t-shirt. Same difference). Seriously, guys like that give me vertigo.
Hey, buddy, my brain is up here!
I understand that plenty of people have trouble making eye contact. I am one of those people. Much like a turkey, I would rather look straight up and drown in a rainstorm than make eye contact with a stranger.
But there are other places to look than my mammaries. I’m a big fan of inspecting my cuticles. Or even just looking the hell around. Surely you can find something nearby in which to feign interest.
But it’s like boobs are Velcro. You can practically hear the ripping sound when a guy finally looks up.
I don’t stare at your crotch (unless you’re Jim Morrison wearing leather pants, in which case I’ll make an exception). So why can’t…
