Member-only story
Humor
When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Have To Go
Our lives revolve around our bodily functions, and there’s no better way to find that out than to have the office toilet stop working.
I mean, it works. It just leaks onto the tenant’s head in the basement.
Technically, that does not affect moi, but the sporting thing to do has been to not flush the toilet today.
Which means that all I can think about — literally, all I can think about — is that I have to pee.
Now, physiologically, this probably isn’t true because I’ve had a thimbleful of water today and I’m as parched as Mars. I feel like a Kleenex that went through the dryer.
I didn’t get to have any coffee today, and let me tell you, there is no joy in Mudville right now.
My bladder just laughs at my misery and wrings out another kidney.
First I went to the gas station down the road. The restroom looked a little like the toilet scene from Trainspotting, but I closed my eyes and hovered.
But the other secretary and I agreed that we shouldn’t keep going back to the same place all day — we needed to spread our scent around, like cats.
