Humor
When I Die, I Expect You To Wait In Line 30 Hours To Pay Your Respects
And if you don’t, I’ll know and I’ll haunt you.
When a member of the Queen’s guard passed out cold while standing vigil at her coffin in Westminster Hall, all I could think about was the time Tracy Packard fainted in marching band during a half-time show.
Much like the guards attending the Queen’s body, we too were overdressed in a stressful situation.
Plus some of us, like Tracy Packard, were holding tubas. I don’t see a single Queen’s guard holding a tuba. Just sayin’.
Plus we marched in summer in ancient, hand-me-down polyester and there’s a high probability that at least some of us were hungover. It’s a miracle more of us didn’t face-plant in the middle of Hang On Sloopy.
We had the same problem in chorus. My last words on my deathbed will probably be, “Don’t lock your knees.”
If you locked your knees, it was all over. You were going down like a time-lapse of a piece of bread succumbing to mold.
One minute you were fine, belting out the chorus to O Come All Ye Faithful to a rapt audience of parents in a stuffy auditorium. And…
