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Humor
What Your Choice of Wrapping Paper Says About You
Nothing says Christmas like plaid.
I wouldn’t say that I intentionally buy wrapping paper. It’s just something that somehow ends up in my house and then I wrap it around objects which I also have not put a lot of thought into that I then hand to someone else for some socially-mandated reason. The paper is of little or no consequence because once we are handed a gift, we all become the five-year-olds we once were, laser-focused on whatever might be under the paper. We have one thought: destroy the paper with extreme prejudice.
Still, people put a lot of thought, time, and energy into wrapping presents. Personally, all of my presents look like they were wrapped by an alcoholic raccoon. In fact, I have several rolls of wrapping paper that I found in a garbage can. They were slightly flattened, but still wrapped in plastic and perfectly serviceable for their purpose, which is, as mentioned, to be obliterated with lightning speed.
If something is too neatly wrapped, I feel bad about opening it. I gently tug at the Scotch tape, hoping somehow to preserve the pristine shell of silver foil and artfully curled ribbon like a death mask of the present inside. It’s a sin to open a present like that. Thanks for making me feel like an uncouth animal as I tear into…
