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HUMOR
What Women Really Want When They Say They Don’t Want Anything
Bad gifts through the ages.
Right before Christmas, I texted my boyfriend:
“We’re not doing Christmas gifts, right? I don’t have the time/money/inclination.”
And he responded:
“That’s fine with me.”
Now, this is what’s scientifically known as The Wrong Fucking Answer. It’s Christmas. And he already forgot my birthday this year, for which I passive-aggressively returned the favor by “forgetting” his.
This is why monks exist, because of shit like this.
“Look, you have to take a vow of poverty and chastity for the rest of your life, but at least you don’t have to be in a relationship.”
“Where do I sign?”
There’s a running joke on Twitter about women who say, “I’m fine,” and every man in the room stampedes for the door.
The subtext, of course, is that women are polite and subservient on the outside, while on the inside they’re plotting to murder their husbands and boyfriends.
The sub-subtext is that men aren’t like that. Men either “tell it like it is” or have so few nasty, feminine emotions that they really are fine with whatever.
