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HUMOR
What The Neighbors Who Don’t Know Me Probably Think About Me
“Have you noticed that she never has anybody over to her house? Like, ever. No friends, no kids, no grandkids.”
“She must be a loner.”
“Maybe she’s a serial killer. You know how they always say, ‘He was quiet. Kept to himself.’”
“Yeah, and she’s really pale. Jeffrey Dahmer was pale.”
“Dahmer’s dad lives around the corner from us.”
“How do you know that?”
“She wrote about it online.”
“She’s a writer?”
“If you can call it that.”
“Hm. She leaves for work around 9:00 a.m. and never gets home until dark. I wonder what she does for a living?”
“Maybe she’s a landscaper. She’s really obsessed with mowing her lawn.”
“Yeah, what’s up with that? Like, jeez, lady, give it a rest. It can be more than an inch tall. The world won’t end.”
“Speaking of which, we should probably mow ours. She’s been giving it stink eye every time she looks over here.”
“I think that’s just her face. She has resting stink-eye face.”
“She always looks like she sucking on something sour.”