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HOLIDAY HUMOR
What If All The Turkeys Had Flown South For That First Thanksgiving?
Look, I love a turkey sandwich as much as the next guy.
And of all the large, pulchritudinous fowl that dot this great land, turkeys are absolutely at the top of my list of birds that deserve to die.
When I was a kid on the farm, my mom always told me that turkeys were so dumb, they’d look straight up in a rainstorm and drown.
I half-believed this, as our turkeys had done nothing to contradict the widely held belief that they’re not the sharpest Crayon in the box. They didn’t really seem to have much of an intellectual life beyond eating and staring into space.
Which, now that I think about it, hits a little close to home.
I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the turkeys because I was busy trying to protect myself from an evil rooster by dragging a plastic baseball bat around with me every time I went outside, but that’s another story.
To this day, we’re still plagued by wild turkeys who rove in murderous packs seeking revenge for their ancestors.
For some reason, they’ve really got a grudge against U.S. postal workers. Maybe it’s the pith helmet. Maybe it’s…
