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What Do Lawn Mowers And Toilets Have In Common?

Bev Potter
3 min readMar 25, 2022
A scene from The Help (Dreamworks/Walt Disney Studios)

I have to buy a lawn mower this year. Again. I bought one last year, one of those fancy electric start ones, but I didn’t realize it didn’t have a side discharge until I got it home. It’s a mulcher.

Mulching is good for the lawn and bad for the lawn’s owner. I don’t know who can actually use a mulching lawn mower — maybe somebody in a much more arid climate where there’s no actual grass. I’m sure it works fine if you need to mow dirt.

But on grass, it clogs up every three feet, plus it weighs about 500 pounds because of the battery that I never even used for the electric start because I don’t have any electrical outlets outside, plus my shoulder decided not to hurt last year so there wasn’t any point since I could yank the cord just like I always do.

The wheels on it are plastic and never got much traction, so I spent last summer pushing it around the lawn in 90 degree weather. I would prefer not to do that again.

It’s a Toro, if you’re wondering, which is very disappointing. I always liked Toro because all their stuff is red, which is my favorite color, and because Toro means “bull” in Spanish.

Yes, this is how I make purchasing decisions.

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Bev Potter
Bev Potter

Written by Bev Potter

Legal secretary by day, insomniac by night. Ally. BA, MA. Humor, pop culture, and things that make you think. My weekly-ish newsletter is bevpotter.substack.com

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