Weird Things I’ve Learned As A Legal Secretary
It’s not like I wanted to be a legal secretary. I didn’t toddle around as a child going, “But what I really want to be when I grow up is a professional servant in a field that thrives on abuse.”
I wanted to be the usual. Archeologist. Cowboy. Cowboy who dabbles in real estate on the side. Cowboy who dabbles in real estate on the side and also runs a thriving global cosmetics empire.
You know. The usual.
Instead, fresh out of graduate school with not a single useful skill to my name and a chronically ill husband to support, I called a temp agency and was sent to the local Legal Aid office.
Legal Aid is the bottom of the barrel. None of the clients have money, that’s why they’re calling Legal Aid. And your salary is paid by either the county or the state, which means what little there is is prone to budget cuts and the ever-shifting political winds.
Anyway, that’s how I became a legal secretary. Much like Liam Neeson, I have a very particular set of skills that nobody really needs unless the shit has hit the fan.
I had no idea I had that much in common with Liam Neeson.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah, weird things I’ve learned as a legal secretary.
You can name your kid anything you want
And I don’t just mean “Apple” like Gwyneth Paltrow or “Pilot Inspektor” like Jason Lee (I mean, really?) or whatever the hell Elon Musk named his kid. They probably just call him “Tim” in private.
No, what I mean is, you can give your baby any last name you want to give them. It doesn’t have to be the surname of either parent.
What the what?
- the mother’s surname;
- the father’s surname;
- the other parent’s surname;
- or a combination of the mother’s and father’s or other parent’s surnames (names may be combined with or without…