Humor
Very Specific Editors’ Corrections
From your favorite magazine.
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On page 37, we stated that Yo-Yo Ma’s favorite color is red. Yo-Yo Ma’s favorite color is in fact smaragdine, Pantone’s 2013 Color of the Year. We regret our error.
On page 83, we stated that the exact geographic location of the Mariana Trench is 11.3493° N, 142.1995° E. The Mariana Trench is in fact located at 11.3493° N, 142.1996° E. We would be remiss to suggest otherwise.
On page 74 we stated that it’s i before e except after c. After much thought, we have decided no vowel should take precedence over any other vowel and that all vowels are created equal. We appreciate this opportunity for growth.
In the June issue, Everything New Wave Is Old Hat, we stated that Jean-Luc Godard’s middle name is Brian. We were huffing glue at the time and thought this was funny. We are entering rehab to work on ourselves.
Because of an editing error, we identified Pee-Wee Herman as the Prime Minister of Canada. The Prime Minister of Canada is in fact Garry Trudeau.
On page 34 of the December issue, we really gave Tucker Carlson a piece of our mind. It felt good.
On page 18xii of the September 2018 issue, we stated that our publication is gluten-free and completely organic. It is in fact highly toxic and should not be ingested, particularly by pregnant women or small children. Our lawyers are going to be busy for the next few years. One of them just bought a Lamborghini.
In January’s column, Movies to Eat In Front Of Naked, we stated that in the Director’s Cut of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, E.T. joins a pyramid scheme run by a young Bernie Madoff and fleeces the elderly out of their life savings until convinced of the error of his ways by Drew Barrymore who stages an intervention and suggests that E.T. donate his body to science. We think that would be a much more interesting movie.
Sheila, please come back. We’ve changed. Think about the kids.
We apologize for the above. We thought we were texting.
On page 221 of last month’s issue, we admitted that we don’t know what an Oxford comma is and we don’t really care. Je ne regrette rien.
If you buy me a coffee, I will name a houseplant in your honor.
