ARCHITECTURE HUMOR

Vertical Siding is a Hideous Abomination

And now we all have to live with it.

Photo by Nagara Oyodo on Unsplash

I don’t know why I choose certain things to fixate on and then allow them to make me insane.

I’m pretty sure other people aren’t driving around and when they see a house with vertical siding they say out loud, “Look at that. What the fuck is wrong with people?”

You know perfectly well that the first subcontractor to put up vertical siding was on one or more pharmaceuticals, and then the home owner actually liked it and the sub was like, “Oh, yeah, I totally meant to do that,” and now we all have to live with it.

What really clogs my filters is when somebody chooses, of their own volition, to mix vertical and regular siding (and by “regular”, I mean normal, horizontal siding, the way God intended) on the same house.

This design choice gives me such cognitive dissonance there should be a warning sign as you approach the house. Like those warnings on movies and video games about “contains flashing lights” for people with seizure disorders.

Seeing a house with vertical and horizontal siding all mixed together makes my brain seize up. And not in a good way.