HUMOR

Unconventional Uses For Chopsticks

Suggestions from Women’s Day magazine.

Photo by Tamas Pap on Unsplash

I read Women’s Day Magazine because my mom subscribes to it and I’ll read anything.

Here are some of their suggestions for alternative uses for chopsticks, and of course, some of mine.

1. Use chopsticks to eat Flamin’ Hot Cheetos “to keep your fingers pristine.” Yes, you’ll be mercilessly mocked at the next Super Bowl party you attend, but at least you’ll have clean fingers while all those around you are dripping barbecue sauce on the couch.
2. A pair of “serving chopsticks” will keep people’s grubby, COVID-laden digits out of the cheese cubes. Of course, everything else will still be covered in germs, so maybe you should insist your guests wear hazmat suits to your next epic soiree.
3. Use chopsticks to dig toast out of the toaster. This is actually a good idea since the first thing I usually reach for is, like every other human being on the planet, a metal knife. Since wood is not a good conductor of electricity, this will spare you electrocution and a visit from your local fire department, unless, of course, the chopsticks catch on fire.
4. Chopsticks can be used as an emergency trivet when you need to set down a hot saucepan or skillet. This means that chopsticks will…