REJECTED BY McSWEENEY’S
Things I’m Doing to Celebrate The Vernal Equinox or Things I Did During COVID Lockdown
1. Sacrifice a goat.
2. Watch cute goat videos on TikTok.
3. Take a trip to Chichén Itzá to watch the afternoon shadow of the serpent god Kukulcan slowly snake its way down the steps of the Kukulcan pyramid.