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TAKING BETS FOR WHEN I’M GOING TO SNAP
Things I Need to Do at Work Today
In my role as the only person who knows how to do anything
Somehow, our front landscaping bed has been infiltrated by buffalo bur, a highly toxic member of the nightshade family.
I’m thinking about telling my boss to go outside and pick a bouquet, maybe make some tea out of it. But he’s headed out West in an RV for the next two weeks, so there’s always hope he’ll fall into a crevasse.
Needless to say, it’s my job to root out the buffalo bur without dying.
Just like it was my job to kill the bees that were swarming the front door — this really discourages walk-ins, as well as mail delivery — and at some point I’m going to have to get rid of the poison ivy that’s overtaking the back sidewalk and also do something about the neighbor’s fence that is falling into our back yard.
Which is also covered in poison ivy.
Meanwhile, I take pictures of the poor possum that the neighbor landlord accidentally live traps in his ongoing war against the approximately 50 groundhogs that frolic ceaselessly across our properties.