HUMOR/FOOD/SOAP

There’s Got to Be More to Soap Than This

Will it get me clean or just ready to go in the oven?

Photo by the author.

I spent the afternoon on my roof, as one will, frantically doing all the things I’d been putting off all summer — pruning and staining and cleaning and weatherizing everything to within an inch of its life.

“Buy a house,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said.

I felt like I deserved a medal. But since nobody was handing out medals, the second best thing would be a milkshake.

So I drove my sweaty and wild-haired self to the village with the really good, albeit really expensive, ice cream stand.

This ice cream stand has gone through a lot of owners, but I’ve got big hopes for this one. They won’t suddenly shut down without warning just when you had your heart set on a dip cone.

As I approached, I saw tents in the distance in places where tents don’t normally exist. Like, the middle of the street.

Dammit, they were having some kind of (huge air quotes) “festival”.

Festivals are like locusts — you don’t know they’re coming until they descend one morning out of the blue and ruin everything.