HUMOR

The Tyranny of Schedules

I made a to-do list, what more do you want from me?

Photo by Hope House Press — Leather Diary Studio on Unsplash

I intended to sit down and write about that time I slept with a murder suspect.

But I’ve had too little sleep, too much caffeine, and way, way too much TikTok.

TikTok, like caffeine and heroin, is also a drug. I can’t take just a little — it’s either too much or don’t even bother suiting up.

Writing is a struggle right now because of my GI issues, but I’m looking forward to the propofol.

You might see a connection between the GI issues, caffeine, and TikTok, but you would be wrong. That’s conspiracy talk is what that is.

It’s 8:30 a.m. and I’m already off schedule.

Schedules are important when you live alone because otherwise, your day is an amorphous blob of tiny distractions that do nothing to help you achieve your life goals, which as a creative, never take a day off. Ever. Ever ever ever.

This was my alleged schedule for today:

1. Wake up. (check)
2. Work out. (still in the cards)
3. Write about “The Man Who Murdered Himself”, which is a fascinating topic that deserves a multi-week draft because it’s the kind of thing that gets…