Member-only story
The Knee Bone Is Connected To Your Lower Back
Just like every other bone in your body.
Little did you know that when you picked up that plastic shopping bag full of used kitty litter this morning, searing pain like the light of a thousand suns would shoot through your back and you’d have to call off work and lay on the couch all day trying not to breathe.
That’s because the bones in your hand are connected to your lower back, just like every other bone in your body.
Science has hidden this fact from humanity for thousands of years. In fact, it was Plato who first realized the truth when he sneezed one day in the middle of class and threw out his back.
“What the fuck?” he said (but in Greek). And then he had to lay down in a cave for two days where he thought up his famous allegory of the cave. I don’t actually understand the allegory of the cave, but I’m sure somebody will explain it to me.
Humans have bad backs because we walk upright. I’m not sure what the other options were — wings would’ve been nice — but apparently, even though we literally evolved this way and it seemed like the only choice, we’re not really built to stand upright.
