Humor

The Joys of Automobile Ownership

I’ve been leasing my vehicle for the last 10 years or so because I have Mercedes tastes on a Kia budget.

Also, I have the magic Ford Z Plan (a discount for the immediate family of Ford retirees) which is like a giant coupon, and God knows I love a coupon.

But with the automotive market the way it is, I’ve decided to cut the umbilical cord and turn my lease into a purchase, thereby instantly acquiring equity and simultaneously making my truck fall apart.

Owning an automobile is just so much fun. I highly don’t recommend it. It’s like being tethered to a moody, unpredictable wild animal that hates you.

Plus you get the satisfaction of knowing that you’re contributing to the destruction of the planet. Fun!

Car loans used to be five years, max. Then they came up with six-year loans, and then seven-year loans. What’s next, a 30-year mortgage on your car?

Yes.

This ensures that your car will never be paid off before you need to buy another car, thereby contributing to the the crushing burden of debt which is our modern way of life.

The problem is that I’m a control freak and I like new shiny things that are perfect. This is my burden.