Member-only story
Humor
The Hard Luck Story Of A Generation Alpha Kid
Dad was an Instagram model, so he wasn’t around much.
Nobody probably wants to hear another sob story from a privileged white kid, but my pain is just as valid as any impoverished war refugee’s.
They have literal rivers and mountains to cross, but I have mental rivers and mountains. Just the other day, I realized that none of my shoes matched my new racerback Gucci bralette. The pain was like a bullet hitting me in the back as I tried to run away from an oppressive regime.
Dad was an Instagram model, so he wasn’t around much.
He was usually at the gym, or hanging out at the model house on the beach, or getting his teeth whitened.
He worked really hard to put protein drinks on the table for me and mom. Sometimes I wanted food I could chew, but I knew the protein drinks sponsored by Sludgze© had all the nutrients I needed to be my best self and only one gram of sugar.
Mom became famous when she was on the Dr. Phil show for being a little bitch. But she was skanky hot and had a catch phrase, and the next thing she knew, she had an agent and an OnlyFans.
