The Great Pear Wars of 2024

The list of things I don’t care about gets longer and longer.

Photo by Tijana Drndarski on Unsplash

Facebook is a blight upon the land, not least because it means people can always find me. People I don’t care about who want to complain about things I also don’t care about.

The message:
Hello, I hope all is well. [They’re not, but thanks for asking, I guess?] I was asked [“by my 80-year-old mom,” she didn’t need to add, my mom’s former neighbor] to ask you if you know who might’ve come and picked all the pears??? Don’t know if maybe in the past your mom had given permission to somebody to come pick?

My reply:
No, the only people who picked pears are in their 70s at the end of the road, Mike and Sharon something. They know my mom passed away, I find it hard to believe they would trespass to pick a few shitty pears.

Now, bearing in mind that we’re talking about my mom’s pear trees, so why my mom’s former neighbor is essentially policing the pear trees of a woman who is not only dead, but who has transferred title of the land to people who seem not to be even included in this conversation, is beyond me.

I wanted to say:

Maybe the deer ate them all. Maybe there were no pears this year (which happens). Maybe this is none of your mom’s freakin’ business.