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Humor
The Great Air Conditioning Wars of 2022
My boss keeps turning up the A/C (or turning it down? Which is it?) because he’s gained probably 50 pounds since Christmas and he sweats like a polar bear in the Sahara.
It’s 90 degrees outside. My co-worker is walking around in a ski jacket to stay warm and I go outside to bask in the sun every few hours like an iguana. The flower beds, which have exactly zero flowers, need weeding. So that’s what I do, butt up in the air for the enjoyment or non- of passersby.
Then I start to sweat and I have to go back inside to Little Siberia.
Whenever the boss isn’t paying attention, I turn the air conditioning down (up?) and slither away.
Next thing I know, it’s 60 degrees and I’m unconsciously rubbing my arms like I’m Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.
Dammit, this can’t be healthy.
I have one window air conditioner in my house, which I never used until the last few years, so that’s all the proof of global warming I need.
My mom just has a fan and insists that she’s fine, just like she insists she’s fine when there’s some hideous wound somewhere on her body and I have to drag her unwillingly to the doctor.
