Some People Can Wear a Hat
I am not one of them.
I know I look like a dandelion that’s having a panic attack, but let me explain.
I was wearing a hat.
It’s winter. My ears get cold. All of your body heat exits through the top of your head the minute you step outside.
All of it. (The science checks out. Don’t bother looking it up.)
Also, please don’t touch me. I am now essentially a human electric eel, capable of generating enough wattage to light a small city.
I am the worst superhero ever: Static Girl. If you dare to kiss me, even a quick peck on the lips, you will be tossed back several feet while shouting, “Shit!” at the top of your lungs. I won’t be happy about it, either.
That’s also why I have this lovely dent in my head. Because I was wearing a hat. Oh, the photos for the company directory are today? That’s just peachy.
I’m just going to put the hat back on. I don’t mind that I’ll be the only person in the directory wearing a Himalayan Sherpa beanie.
At least my ears will be warm.
