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HUMOR
Science Makes Our Lives Worse
By telling us things we didn’t need to know.
Ah, to live in blissful ignorance like our ancestors, slathering arsenic on our faces and snacking on paint chips.
It seems like every day I learn something new that I didn’t need to know. Not because it’s not true, but because it’s either something I can’t control, or it’s something that I’m not going to do anything about anyway.
Like my water bottle.
Please feel free to dissect my kitchen in the background because I know you’re going to anyway.
I got the water bottle because I can’t remember to drink water. Which seems weird, when you think about it.
At some point, our slimy ancestors crawled out of the ocean (and should’ve turned around and gone right back in). A large portion of the human body is made out of water. And we need anywhere from eight to 11 cups of liquid a day to survive.
And still, I can’t remember to drink unless I have a giant metal container on my desk, and even then, I…
