Humor

Right Arm Or Left Arm? That Is The Question

Boost me, baby.

Photo by Tim Hüfner on Unsplash

There’s always The Question:

“Which arm do you want it in?”

You’d think by now, after receiving hundreds of shots over my lifetime, I wouldn’t hesitate.

“The left one. WAIT! — the right one. No, the left one. Let me think about it.”

Pharmacist: *sigh*

Each arm has its pros and cons. This isn’t a decision to be taken lightly. Sure, my mom doesn’t hesitate — it’s always her left. But she’s had 40 extra years to really commit to her decision.

I sleep on my left side, and I usually get a shot in that arm, the left side. Yeah, that’s the Crip side.

Most people I talk to choose the side they don’t sleep on. But I find that to be a rash, knee-jerk decision.

See, Left Arm is the Vice President of the body. Its duties are mostly ceremonial, like hamburger holding and shoe tying. Right Arm is Commander in Chief.

But Left Arm will step up if, for instance, Right Arm gets assassinated in a motorcade, or the nation needs saving from a megalomaniac.

Left Arm, however, is useless at ribbon…