Grumpy Humor

Reasons Why I’m Not A Successful Social Media Influencer

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

I’m old.

I’m not particularly attractive.

I’m a woman and I want to continue being a woman with few if any modifications to the basic package.

I can’t dance.

I can’t sing.

I can’t knit, crochet, embroider, macramé, cook, bake, paint, sculpt, collage, draw cartoons, play an instrument, or make origami animals.

I never go anywhere.

I don’t have kids I can exploit.

My dog won’t cooperate.

I don’t own some unusual, quirky animal or live on a farm.

I don’t have any “truth” to “live.”

I don’t struggle with [fill in blank].

I’m not BIPOC and/or LBGTQA+.

My voice is annoying.

I don’t have a value proposition.

I don’t know anything interesting that I can teach to others.

I have a real job.