Humor

Reasons Why I Don’t Read Your Story To The End Even If It’s Really Good

Please don’t take it personally if I ghost you halfway through.

Photo by Junseong Lee on Unsplash

Like a normal human being, I am wracked with guilt when I don’t finish reading a story by someone I like, or even by someone I don’t like if the piece seems interesting.

But sometimes life gets in the way — for example, right now I’m covered in tuna. I should probably do something about that.

But first:

Reasons Why I Don’t Read Your Story To The End Even If It’s Really Good

1. Something sparkly went by.
2. I’m reading on my computer at work while trying to eat, answer the phone, block out my boss’s voice, and catch up the books which would probably be more accurate if I used an abacus.
3. I tell myself I’ll come back to your story later when I have more time. (HAHAHA!)
4. I have bookmarked your pièce de résistance, thereby relegating it to my “Reading List” which, at last count, is 1191 articles long. A reading list is like purgatory for stories, or like the waiting room in Beetlejuice, where articles languish neither alive nor dead.