Member-only story
Humor Rant
Nobody Reads Anymore
See, you’re not even reading this.
I should be exercising. Early morning is the only time of day I have to work out, but it’s also the only time of day I have to write without interruption while my brain is actually functioning.
You see my dilemma. Basically, writing is going to kill me (along with all the donuts).
Why do I even bother writing? Nobody reads anymore.
Not just books or newspapers (wut r newspapers?), they can’t even read an email.
(Absolutely True) Example:
Me:
Hi [client name]! I have that order back from the court you need. I can either send it to the pension administrator, or you can pick it up. Just let me know what you want to do. Thanks!
Client:
Yes.
Now, lest you think only young victims of today’s educational system do this, my boss does this to me all the time, too. Which is much more satisfying because I can literally walk into his office and go, “Do you not know how to read?”
When I was in school, the first instruction before the beginning of any test was READ THE ENTIRE QUESTION BEFORE ANSWERING. It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command. It was R. Lee Ermey…