HUMOR

My Car Insurance Company Calls Me a “Mature Driver”

Joke’s on them.

Photo by Gregory Atkats on Unsplash

When I got the bill for my car insurance the other day, I noticed it had gone up $20.

Because of course it did.

I turned the policy over in my hands looking in vain for something to explain the increase, like maybe a paragraph in bold, 12-point type that said THIS IS WHY YOUR BILL WENT UP, but that’s clearly asking too much.

I’m expected to tug my forelock, say “Thank ya, guv’na”, and slink back into my dank hole with the other insured masses who will be grateful for the coverage when they’re T-boned by an uninsured meth addict on the 405.

Which is what I did.

But in my searchings, I noticed that I’m receiving a “discount” for being a mature driver.

A mature driver.

I’ve never been so insulted in my life.

Just say it. Just say “old.”

“We’re giving you an imaginary discount because you’ve made it this long, so you must have some idea what you’re doing out there behind the wheel of a 4000-pound killing machine.”

But the joke’s on them. I’m a much worse driver now than when I was a kid.