ECLIPSE HUMOR

Meeting Minutes of Our Satanic Orgy Planning Committee

The eclipse is our chance to both summon Satan and also have lots of sex.

Map of AirBnB bookings along the Path of Totality for the date of April 7, 2024.

Thanks for coming, everybody. I’d like to call this meeting of the Satanic Orgy Planning Committee to order in the name of Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, our master and protector. “Bob” to his friends.

Let me just blow the ritual ram’s horn and sacrifice this goat. Hold on.

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, as everyone knows, a total eclipse is the perfect time to summon Satan and also have lots of sex. The last time we did this was in 2017.

Lets try to make some actionable changes from what we learned back then.

First of all, somebody needs to be in charge of snacks. Wow, look at all those hands. Okay, Tracy — I mean, Baphomet — you’re in charge of getting all the snacks so we have plenty of energy for the orgy. I was thinking about ordering a Panera party tray, but there’s really not room in our budget.

Remember that Carl — I mean, Diabolus — has IBS and is also avoiding gluten. I think Fenriz is vegan, so see what you can do to make everybody happy. Try not to spend more than $50.