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Me: The Weather Report
Monday: The morning will start out foggy and stay that way. Send the kids to school with a light jacket and the wrong names written on their lunch bags.
Tuesday: Lifting clouds, but a cold front is bullying its way down from the twats in HR, in the form of a seminar about “appropriate language.” You might want a sweater.
Wednesday: Periods of manic laughter and crying jags, alternating randomly with no warning. Bring an umbrella.
Thursday: Mostly sunny, nice. Spend time outdoors reliving every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done.
Friday: Plenty of sunshine with only some high clouds to remind everyone of their own mortality.
Saturday and Sunday: Torrential downpours both days, with possible hail the size of bowling balls. Temperatures in the mid-20’s even though it’s July. The perfect time to reheat leftovers and clean the cat hair out of the dryer. Enjoy!