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Man Intent on Killing Large Number of People Drives Around Striped Sticks
Police say, “It couldn’t be done!”
In what could almost be called a predictable turn of events, yet another “mass casualty incident” has taken place, this time in New Orleans.
As we speak, officials are busy contradicting each other as to whether or not this should be described as a “terrorist attack”, which is important so that other agencies nationwide can scramble to put ineffectual safety measures in place that will make the masses feel better without inconveniencing them in any way.
The fact that security screenings at airports work as well as they do is almost a miracle (other than that woman who walked through an employee boarding line and made it to Paris without a ticket, we won’t talk about that).
Americans have actually accepted that they need to get to the airport early and take off their shoes, an almost unheard of act of kowtowing to authority for the good of all.
Of course, vengeance is their’n when they continue to walk around the cabin barefoot and prop their stinky-ass, unwashed trotters up on somebody else’s armrest or wedge them between the seats in front of them like that space is some kind of foot glory hole.