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It’s A Good Vacation If Nobody Dies
Now get out there and make some memories.
I feel like a lot of truly horrifying stories begin with the words, “So we were all relaxing in the Jacuzzi, when… ”
But I’ll come back to that later.
Vacationing is like travelling to a parallel universe. Everything is just ever so slightly off. Sure, everybody looks human, but in an Invasion of the Body Snatchers kind of way.
These are not your people. They talk funny. Their news anchors are not your news anchors, and you feel the stirrings of a vague hostility towards them, watching them on the TV in the motel lounge with their weird backdrops and their unfamiliar in-jokes. Who do you think you are, Frosty Snow (if that is your real name)? My hometown weather guy could forecast you straight into the ground, and he’s 200 years old.
Not to mention the sheer out-of-body experience of watching the Weather Channel ANYPLACE but in the safety of your own home. The confusion. The bewilderment. You stare dumbly at the television. What- what am I looking at? Where in the hell are we? Those lines — is that even a state? What do you mean, “It’s Colorado.” I thought we were in Arizona. Four Corners? Four corners of what? NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.
