Member-only story
HUMOR
I’m Your Neighbor With the Cheap Screen Door and I’ll Decide What Time You Get Up in the Morning
Pneumatic screen door closer? We don’t need no stinking pneumatic screen door closer!
Hey neighbor! I bet you’re admiring my *BAM!* extremely basic wood-framed screen door!
Oh, you’re actually wondering why I let this baby slam shut every five minutes instead of using the two good hands and brain of a squirrel that God gave me to stop it?
Well, for one thing, I think the door matches really well with the DEFUND THE MEDIA signs I’ve had in my front yard since 2018. They’re faded as hell, but the message hasn’t changed.
My president is not a crook and every one of those 91 felony counts is made up by the media. I’m one of those people who will still be flying a TRUMP 2020 flag in 2032 because I and my fellow people such as myself believe that we have the right to be as obnoxious and pigheaded as humanly possible.
It’s my right to be stupid.
What’s that about 11:00 at night? Well, that’s the perfect time to go out for some *BAM!* pizza and a pack of smokes. And then come back, and then go out again, and then come back.
