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I’m Tired Of Doing Things That Make Me Unhappy
Why do I keep forgetting that I have control over my actions?
I grew up in a pretty strict household. It was my mom’s way or the highway. I think my dad worked three jobs just so he never had to stick around for long.
As a result, I have a lot of character traits that are less than desirable. A lot. I’m super controlling in my relationships, inflexible, regimented, and very, very unhappy.
And I keep setting myself up for more unhappiness by doing things that I think I should be doing, whether I enjoy them or not. Whether they add anything to my life or my general well-being. Whether or not they accomplish anything at all.
I read a newspaper every day. I watch a news broadcast on television every day. I listen to the news on the radio as I get ready for work every morning.
Why? Does staying abreast of all the world’s quotidian horrors make me happy? Of course not. I do it because I feel like I should.
And maybe when I was younger, this ritual of absorbing everything that was going on served some purpose. Maybe I thought it would motivate me to dedicate my life to…something. Anything. Helping others. Volunteering at a soup kitchen. Giving blood.
