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Humor
I’m The Dish Sponge You’ve Been Using For The Last Two Years
Did I start the pandemic? Maybe.
*long drag on cigarette* Sure, I smoke. What’s it to you? Suddenly you care? Please. I’ve seen things in the last two years that no sentient hunk of polyester should ever have to see.
If you’re one of those rich folks who have a dishwasher, just keep moving. I’m not talking to your privileged ass, Kim Kardashian.
Did you know that some studies suggest you should change me every week?? How’s that for a laugh? Scientists actually claim that I’m the filthiest thing in your house — even filthier than your toilet, and you know what a shitshow that is. In fact, according to the white coats, you might as well scrub your cereal bowl with an actual piece of shit.
Gets ya thinkin’, don’t it?
Now, you could subscribe to one of those fancy-schmancy sponge delivery services, but are you made out of money?
Four sponges a month for $12.00. That’s *counting on fingers* I don’t know, a lot of money. Did you see me in your AP math class? No. I’m a sponge.
