Humor

I’m The Billionaire CEO of This Company and I Must Be a Genius Because I Wear a T-Shirt to Work Every Day

Sam Bankman-Fried (Source: www.zerohedge.com)

Hey there! I know I’m the 30-year-old multibillionaire CEO of a tech company, but you can tell I’m just like you because I wear a T-shirt to work every day!

When I’m frolicking on my yacht in the blistering Mediterranean sun (which I’m thinking about buying, btw — the Mediterranean, I mean. Not the sun. Maybe the sun. Let me think about it.) — my pale, fried-egg moobs get sunburned just like yours (would if you were frolicking on a yacht in the Mediterranean)!

Another sign that I’m just like you is that I like playing video games. A lot. Like, maybe too much?

I guess it’s okay, because I played League of Legends during a Zoom call with Sequoia Capital’s investment guys, and they still gave me $210 million to invest in my company that nobody really understands or apparently has any control over. LOL

[Sequoia Capital has since deleted the blog post describing this meeting and are writing off their investment in FTX as a loss. Ya THINK?]

What matters to people is that I have ties to elite American schools and I went to MIT. That’s literally as far as anybody ever gets. They read that and they immediately turn into drooling sycophants…