Humor

I’m Addicted To Referred Members

Ah, that sweet, sweet conversion cash.

Photo by Andrew Wise on Unsplash

It started innocently enough. Some faceless stranger clicked on my referral link and became my first converted member. The high was instantaneous but short-lived, like eating one square of chocolate. It left me wanting more.

But even when I stared really hard at the computer screen and spoke my intentions to the universe like is says to do in The Secret, no more conversions were forthcoming.

WTF, universe?

So I tried yelling my intentions to the universe, but that just made the neighbors call the police.

After I assured the boys in blue (hubba, hubba) I was fine and didn’t need any assistance, they turned to leave. But not before I said those three or four, maybe five fateful words: “Do you subscribe to Medium?”

They gave each other a look as if to say, “What wise words doth this older but still attractive woman speak?”

Or maybe it was, “What the hell is she talking about? Let’s get out of here before we have to do more paperwork.”

Anyway, they had no idea what I was talking about.

But the seal had been broken. I knew the only way to get more of that…