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HUMOR
If Liam Neeson Had To Talk to His Daughter’s Kidnappers Using Cricket Wireless
“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
— Liam Neeson, Taken
I don’t know who you are. I said, I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU — Wait, let me go outside. Hold on. No, that’s just the dog — WHAT ARE YOU EVEN BARKING AT? IT’S A SQUIRREL! YOU’VE SEEN A THOUSAND SQUIRRELS! Dogs, amirite? Do you have a dog? Really? What kind?
Oh, sorry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have *static* a very particular set of *static* I have acquired over a very long career.
What? I said ‘skills’. I have a very particular set of skills. It sounded like ‘Skittles’? Well, that would be weird, haha. Who has a very particular set of Skittles? Anyway. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now — [CALL DROPPED]