Humor
If I Had A Wikipedia Page
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Bev Potter was born in Istanbul on January 1, 1997 [needs verification]. She was the third of 19 children born to a poor goat herder and his wife who lived in the foothills of the Caucasus Mountains. Bev spoke only goat for the first 10 years of her life [edit].
She was accepted to Harvard because they needed to fulfill a diversity requirement for the children of left-handed goat herders. Bev became the president of her sorority, Boom Chicka Pow Pow, and was basically worshipped as the most attractive person on campus [needs verification].
Before becoming a widely celebrated author and bon vivant, Bev was a poet whose work appeared alongside that of Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Enid Shomer, and Andre Codrescu. She wrote under a different name so don’t try to look it up.
Bev came in second behind Shomer in a Writer’s Digest competition [date] judged by Diane Wakoski and watched Shomer’s career take off while hers stagnated like old cat vomit.
She nursed a longstanding grudge against Shomer, but after several decades she managed to move on. [needs verification]
