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I Will Never Be The Perfect Gift Giver

Some things are just beyond my ability to change.

Bev Potter

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Photo by Superkitina on Unsplash

It hasn’t snowed here yet, the sun hasn’t come out in two weeks, and it’s 40 degrees outside (Fahrenheit. I feel compelled to clarify that. Forty degrees Celsius would either be really cold or really hot. I have no idea which.).

But there are no active hurricanes that I’m aware of and nothing’s on fire, so there’s that.

Unfortunately, that’s not enough to bolster my congenital lack of Christmas spirit.

My parents were of the “We decorate for the kid” school. Which means that as soon as that particular burden was lifted, all Christmas frivolity ceased. I carry on their grim, joyless tradition. I did try to put up a tree long ago when i still had cats, and I think we all know how that went.

Nothing says “cat household” quite like a Christmas tree that’s completely devoid of ornaments until about halfway up.

I’ve even managed to beat all the Christmas spirit out of my boss, who is notoriously Christmas happy. My breaking point was the fake Christmas tree covered in glitter, or as I call it, Satan’s Cilantro: it’s in everything and I hate it.

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