Member-only story
THIS HAPPENED TO ME
I Uncovered A Cult In My Small Midwestern Town
When my first boss decided to move to North Carolina with her 15 cats, I had to find another job.
I scoured the want ads and found a position with an old-school, big-name attorney in the county seat. (“Old school” is code for pompous, male-chauvinist pig, but that goes without saying.)
It wasn’t a horrible job, but he wasn’t really the problem. The problem was his wife.
See, the way to make sure your husband isn’t sleeping with the secretary is to either be the secretary or find something else to do in the office all day so you can keep an eye on your hubby and the new young thing.
(These two had already been divorced and remarried to each other, so I don’t know what was up with that.)
This guy’s wife was the “office manager”. Let’s call her Mary, mostly because her real name is a meme and extra spot-on. (It’s Karen. Her name was Karen.)
Karen was prone to statements like, “What’s your blood type?”
Me: “Uh… O positive.”
Mary/Karen: “Oh, you shouldn’t have caffeine.
Me: “Er… Okay.”
She also liked me to sit up very straight in my chair (which I, the human cocktail shrimp, found…
