Slice of Life

I Swear I’m Not Trying To Steal Your Truck

It’s not my fault you drive a red Ford Escape that looks exactly like mine.

Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash

Here’s a fun fact. Back in the days when trucks had actual keys, if you put the wrong Ford key into a Ford ignition, the truck would think “STRANGER DANGER!” and completely shut down. As in, call a towing company, because only a Ford dealership knew how to bring your truck back from the dead.

I, needless to say, found this out the hard way.

We’re a hard-core Ford family, mostly because my dad worked for Ford, and I still have access to the Z Plan. As long as my mom’s alive, I can purchase or lease any Ford vehicle at the same price as a Ford employee.

I’m actually trying to time my leasing cycles according to my mom’s health and life expectancy so that, when she dies, I’ll have just entered a new lease cycle and will get the most out of my truck before I have to bite the bullet and pay what everybody else pays.

You say morbid. I say frugal.

The one problem with driving one of the most popular makes and models of SUV in America is that they all look alike.

Do you know how many red Ford Escapes there are in America? 14 kajillion, and their owners all…