HUMOR

I Sold My McSoul to McDonald’s

My McArteries are getting harder by the McMinute.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

I’m not a huge fan of McDonald’s. Wendy’s has better burgers and fries, and of course, the Frosty, which is neither a liquid nor a solid. It’s the Schrödinger’s cat of dairy treats.

Actually, every fast food chain on the planet has better burgers than McDonald’s.

The problem is the McApp.

Now I can get McFat and earn McPoints at the same time. There’s nothing McFatties like better than free food.

My go-to order is a hamburger and an apple pie, which totals out at around $2.64. It’s barely enough food to keep a chihuahua alive. The hamburger is the merest hint of a hamburger. It’s the suggestion of a hamburger.

If you were born deaf, dumb, and blind, like Tommy, and were told to make a hamburger, this is what you would make: a flattened bread disc with one pickle slice that has been waved in the general vicinity of a cow.

The fries are a crap shoot. Sometimes they’re God’s gift to mankind, and sometimes they’re cold, limp sticks of sadness. But if they’re FREE, who cares?