TINY BITS MADE IN AMERICA

I May Be President of the United States, but What I Really Want to Be Is a Late-Night TV Huckster

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit

Trump’s latest scam

When I was growing up, I dreamed of inheriting my dad’s money, becoming a second-rate real estate agent, and starring in a reality TV show.

But what I really wanted to do was sell weird, poorly-made crap that nobody needs on late-night TV.

And now that I’m President of the United States, I finally can!

Cryptocurrency is a huge scam and I’m selling that left and right. I don’t even know what it is¹. It’s nothing! It’s air. I’m selling air to idiots.

Sure, I’ll be remembered as the 45th and 47th president of the United States. But what I really want to be remembered as is the next Ron Popeil.

Remember Ron Popeil and the Popeil Pocket Fisherman©?

Him.